Can Your Love Language Change?
If you don’t know your love language by now, there are endless resources about what love languages are and what yours could be. But how often do we discuss the progression of our love language within our relationships? And do love languages change over time?
We all seem to have a main, prevailing love language that reigns throughout all of our relationships, however as certain relationships get deeper, the love language seems to change and grow with the individuals.
The main goal of learning our love language and our partners is to provide the love they need in a way that resonates with them. By doing this, our partner feels heard and listened to.
If you show love to your partner in a way that resonates with you, your actions will fall short. They will feel that you don’t know them or understand their needs. Conflict will remain and resentment will grow.
How My Love Language Changed over time
I first noticed this idea within my own relationship as I’ve always known with an absolutely firm belief that my love language is words of affirmation. It is the love language for all of my relationships. I appreciate the reassurance of connection.
After a years-long, tumultuous trauma bond relationship that ended in being cheated on, this need for reassurance grew significantly.
However, after a year with my now fiancé, I realized that I rarely need his reassurance or words of affirmation anymore. I know we are secure and I know his love for me is not only safe but strong. I’ve noticed that my love language within our relationship has shifted to acts of service.
Now I feel most loved when he notices how much work I have piled on and steps in to help me without me even needing to ask.
Do love languages change over time or do they just grow as we do?
As our relationship goes and grows through life, our demands change along with our goals and needs. This is seen easily in my personal example because I no longer needed to be reassured of the security. Since I had security in the relationship, it was no longer an essential need.
If a couple has children, it is especially common to see this particular concept of love languages change as their goals and needs change. Sometimes the love language can change when children come along. For example, maybe your love language was always physical touch, but after children you discovered that your n your needs have changed.
So perhaps, maybe your core love language doesn’t change, but some other love languages become more prominent during times of changing needs.
If you would like to book a FREE 15 minute consultation to discuss your love language and work on ways to express your love and work together, click the button below!
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Written by guest blogger @BreaBrannen
Photo by Eduardo Simões Neto Junior from Pexels
