Love Bombing then Ghosting: How to Recognize the Warning Signs
At first, it feels magical. They’re charming, attentive, and constantly reaching out with sweet texts, big compliments, and maybe even surprise gifts. You think, “Finally—someone who really sees me.”
But before you know it, the messages slow down. Plans get canceled. Something shifts—and suddenly, they disappear without explanation. Gone. In a hot minute.
If you’ve experienced this hot-and-cold roller coaster, you’re not alone. It’s a manipulative pattern called love bombing followed by ghosting—and it’s more common (and more emotionally damaging) than you might think.
What Is Love Bombing?
Love bombing is when someone overwhelms you with attention, affection, and flattery early in a relationship—usually to gain your trust quickly. Think intense compliments, constant texts, future planning way too soon, or lavish gifts that feel a little… much.
It can feel amazing at first—but it’s often not about genuine connection. It’s about control. The goal? To fast-track intimacy so you let your guard down before truly knowing the person.
And then? Just when you’ve opened up, they vanish. Poof!
What Is Ghosting?
Ghosting is when someone cuts off all communication without warning or explanation. No closure. No conversation. Just silence. It can leave you feeling hurt, confused, and even questioning your own worth or sanity. Especially when it follows a whirlwind of intense connection.
These two behaviors often go hand-in-hand, creating an emotional whiplash that can be really tough to recover from. Before you know it, you find yourself in an extremely unhealthy relationship.
10 Signs You’re Being Love Bombed (and Possibly Ghosted)
1.Intensity Comes Fast
They say they’ve “never felt this way before.” They text nonstop. They want all of your time and attention right away. It feels flattering—but also a bit overwhelming. Even if you find yourself ‘caught up in the moment’, it can still feel a bit overwhelming. So you ignore your gut.
2. Over-the-Top Gifts
Early on, they give you extravagant gifts or surprises. It might seem sweet, but ask yourself—are there strings attached? Are they trying to buy closeness? Sometimes, its just too much, too soon.
3. Future Planning Too Soon
They talk about moving in together, meeting your family, or even marriage—just weeks into dating. Future talk can be lovely… but only when it’s mutual and not pressured. They want to fast track the relationship and the illusion of intimacy. But, they have a plan.
4. Boundary-Pushing
They don’t respect your pace or space. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or time-related, they override your boundaries and act like you’re being “difficult” for needing time. They blur the lines. You may find it hard to set boundaries.
Looking to learn how to set healthier boundaries? Check out this interactive workbook that can help you do just that.
5. Extreme Flattery
At first, it feels great—who doesn’t love compliments? But if they’re laying it on thick every day (“You’re the most perfect person I’ve ever met”), it can start to feel disingenuous or even manipulative. Again, it all feels overwhelming.
6. Lack of Empathy
They’re not tuned into your emotions. They might brush off your needs or make everything about them. Your feelings seem to inconvenience them. You might find that when you try and bring something up, you are dismissed, possibly ignored.
And they don’t seem that interested or curious about YOU. That’s a significant red flag.
7. Inconsistent Communication
They’re all-in one day… then gone the next. You’re left guessing, wondering what you did wrong (spoiler alert: it’s not you). You find yourself scrolling through social media, looking for clues - any clue - as to what happened to them. You expend A LOT of your energy sleuthing around.
8. Hot and Cold Behavior
They act loving and attentive one minute—distant and cold the next. This inconsistency creates anxiety and keeps you off-balance. You experience whiplash on a consistent basis. It’s hard to get your head wrapped around what the *uck is going on.
9. Sudden Disappearance
They stop responding to your texts, ignore your calls, and seemingly fall off the face of the Earth. This ghosting leaves no closure, only confusion. They blatantly give you the silent treatment.
10. Blame-Shifting
If you call them out or ask for answers, they flip the script. Somehow, it’s your fault. They might accuse you of being too needy or say “you misunderstood.” Classic gaslighting!
Read more here on gaslighting.
Remember: This is about them, not you.
Why This Hurts So Much (And Isn’t Your Fault)
Love bombing followed by ghosting is a form of emotional manipulation that can deeply impact your sense of safety and self-worth. It creates false intimacy, then rips it away.
If you’ve experienced this, know that your desire for connection wasn’t wrong. You were showing up with openness and vulnerability—someone else took advantage of that.
How to Protect Yourself and Heal
Trust your gut: If it feels too good to be true too soon, pause. Ask yourself these important ‘Why’ questions.
Set boundaries early: You’re allowed to say “slow down” or “I need space.” Above all else, you need to feel safe in your relationships.
Watch for consistency: Real connection builds over time. Healthy relationships aren’t built in a week. If they keep pushing, hit the pause button, take a deep breath, and give your energy to yourself asking, ‘what is really going on here?’
Give yourself time to grieve: Ghosting can feel like a loss. It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused.
Reconnect with yourself: Journaling, therapy, or talking with trusted friends can help you process and rebuild your confidence. Take the steps to heal from this toxic relationship here.
Wath out for red flags. Read more here and how you can start your recovery.
This is how love and relationships should be and feel.
Download my free checklist: 10 Signs of Love Bombing and Ghosting: What to Watch For in New Relationships.
Final Thoughts
Healthy relationships feel safe, not chaotic. They grow steadily, not explosively. You deserve consistency, respect, and communication—not confusion, anxiety, and silence.
So if someone shows you who they are—especially early—believe them. Your peace is worth protecting. Your time is valuable. And you don’t need to earn love by tolerating emotional games.
Let this be your reminder: Real love doesn’t require you to lose yourself.
Looking to reconnect with your values and needs? My interactive workbook “57 Intentional Questions” is a great place to start. Grab your copy here!If you notice these signs, it's important to trust your instincts and take steps to protect yourself emotionally. Prioritize your own well-being.
Are you struggling with being ghosted or love-bombed? Let’s chat.
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